


Truth or Dare

by Valerie_Vancollie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Competition, Dack - Freeform, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Embarrassment, F/M, Fan Art, Fighter Pilots, Freedom Fighters, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Drinking, Hoth, Humor, Illustrated, Illustrations, Light Angst, Light Side, Male Friendship, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, Missing Scene, POV Luke Skywalker, POV Multiple, Pilots, Pre-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Rebel Alliance, Rebellion, Rebels, Rogue Squadron, Sexism, Truth, Truth or Dare, fanzine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 13:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valerie_Vancollie/pseuds/Valerie_Vancollie
Summary: While on downtime on Hoth, Luke and the Rogues end up playing a game of truth or dare with Han.And alcohol, lots of alcohol.What could possibly go wrong?





	Truth or Dare

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic being posted here for the first time now that I have an AO3 account. It was originally written in April, 2006, making it the last _Star Wars_ fan fic that I finished.
> 
> This fic appeared in the _Star Wars_ fanzine _I Don't Care What You Smell_ in May 2006.

Luke smiled subconsciously as he picked up the hydrospanner lying next to him and reached deep into the gut of his X-wing. 

Technically he was off-duty at the moment, but he had always loved tinkering with mechanical equipment, especially if it was a ship of some kind. And, currently, if he didn't clean the innards of the ship, no one would. Normally, the techs were responsible for the routine cleaning of all crafts, but, as usual, the Alliance was desperately short of people and the techs that were on the base were all occupied with getting the speeders adapted to the freezing temperatures of Hoth. Therefore all other non-urgent tasks were pushed aside for the moment. Besides, it was his life that depended on the good condition of the ship, so he liked to check her over himself from time to time.

With a few swift movements of his wrist, Luke freed the part that he wanted and sat up. Putting aside the tool and grabbing the dirty rag, he looked around. From his perch on top of the X-wing, he could see practically everything else in the large cavern and he even had a good view of the ice fields outside as the blast doors were momentarily open. Suppressing a shiver as cold air rushed inside, he turned his attention towards the other X-wings stationed next to his and the people working on top of them. Like him, several of his squad were cleaning up their ships.

His squad.

His mind was still unable to work its way around the concept. Sure, he had always dreamt of flying and of being a hero, but it had always been just that: dreams. He had never actually stopped to consider the responsibilities and concerns that reality would bring with it. The fact that various members of the newly formed Rogue Squadron had more experience and were older than him also bothered him. He believed that some of them, like Zev, would make far better commanders than himself. But the Alliance High Command had brushed aside his concerns saying that they wanted him to lead these men now that Commander Narra was dead.

Despite this, Luke had made sure that Zev and the others knew that he was open to any advice they would give him. This had led to a good camaraderie between them and he had quickly become friends with the men under his command. Noticing his unfamiliarity with his position, the others enjoyed teasing him from time to time when the opportunity presented itself. Surprisingly, this had helped him fit in as it reminded him of Biggs and the way they had teased each other back on Tatooine.

Luke shook his head and focused his attention on cleaning the engine part in his hands as he tried to ignore the bitter cold. Coming from a desert planet made adjusting to Hoth's freezing temperatures far more difficult for him than for the others. Which, inevitably, led to more friendly teasing as he wore enough layers of clothing to make him look twice his size. And he was still cold despite all of it. Especially his hands as he couldn't wear gloves at the moment or else they'd end up as filthy as the rag he used by the time he was done.

The grime and oil removed from the part, he picked up a tool and leaned forward to restore it to its rightful place. Luke was just sitting up again when something soft hit him on the side of his head. He reacted instantly, one hand reaching up to catch what had hit him while the other dropped the tool and reached out to keep him balanced. Looking down at the dirty rag in his hand, he heard the laughter of the other pilots. Lifting his head, he sent a mock glare at them as he tried to figure out who had thrown the rag.

"A little drastic, I know," Wedge apologized, the twinkle in his eyes indicating that he felt anything but remorse. "But I've been trying to get your attention and you weren't responding, Commander."

"Sorry," Luke replied, not bothering with an excuse as they all knew why he hadn't reacted. He still wasn't used to being called by the title commander. 

"No problem. We're going to take a break, head over to the cafeteria and see if we can get a bite to eat and something to drink," Wedge explained. "Want to come with us?"

"What? And have them kick us out again?" Luke inquired as he shook his head. "You know they don't like us hanging around there between meals."

"It's worth a try," Dack stated with a mischievous smile. "Besides, I think the brunette likes you, you might be able to get us something."

"Of course the brunette likes him," Hobbie interjected as Luke's face flamed. "She was on the Yavin base at the time of the Death Star fiasco. He saved her life."

"How would you know if she was on the Yavin base?" Zev demanded. "Unless you noticed her there, perhaps?"

"Who wouldn't notice her with the figure she's got?" Hobbie shot back.

"Ooh, I think Hobbie's got a crush!" Wes exclaimed with glee. "Is there something going on that you haven't told us about?"

"No, of course not," Hobbie snapped.

"Sorry, Commander," Dack said as he turned his attention back to Luke. "Looks like the brunette is taken."

"That's fine by me," Luke replied as he forced his face to return to a normal color, his eyes seeking a way out of the current topic of conversation before it got embarrassing. "Han!" he called out, spotting the Corellian as he approached the X-wings. "You're back." Deftly, he leapt down, making sure that the others had a clear view of his doing so. It wasn't often that he could so bluntly remind them that he could use the Force.

"Hey, Kid. Just the person I was looking for," Han greeted with a smile. "I picked something up for you on Vlomar."

"Really? What is it?"

"You'll have to come with me and find out. I've got the _Falcon_ in the cavern by the West entrance," Han responded before he looked up at the other pilots. "I also managed to get quite a bit of ale, so, if anyone's thirsty, you're more than welcome to join us."

"If it's Corellian ale, I'm in," Wedge declared, pushing his tools aside before moving towards the ladder.

"Of course it's Corellian," Han stated. "I wouldn't get anything else."

"All right!" Dack exclaimed as he and the others followed Wedge down.

"Don't suppose you'd have something to eat as well?" Wes demanded as they all headed for the West entrance.

"Nope," Han replied. "Just lots of ale. We'll have to drink it outside of the _Falcon_ , though. There are too many of us to sit in the game room and the _Falcon_ is still crammed full of cargo. They don't have time to unload her just now."

"No problem," Hobbie said.

"Hey, how about some amusement?" Dack suggested. "Truth or dare?"

"You're on," Zev responded instantly.

"Good idea," Hobbie agreed as most of the others nodded. "You game, Solo?"

"Ah, hell, why not? Should be fun. Luke, you joining?"

"Me?" Luke questioned as they entered the enormous cavern and headed towards Han's pride and joy. Quickly glancing at the blast doors, he was thankful to find them closed. "I'm not sure that I fancy the idea of letting you guys come up with something for me to do."

"You can take truth then," Wes pointed out.

"Like you'd be more trustworthy there."

"Ah, come on, it'll be fun," Wedge pressed. "And we'll promise not to do anything dangerous or which will get any of us into serious trouble with the Council. Right guys?"

"Oh, all right," Luke stated when everyone agreed, secretly glad to be in on this game. He'd heard rumors of the previous ones and they had sounded like a lot of fun, even if that fun was normally at the expense of someone's dignity.

"Talking about promises," Han began as they reached the _Falcon_ 's ramp. "I think we should also promise to do that which is asked of us now that we've made sure none of the dares will be physically harmful. Far too many times I've known people to suddenly decide to drop out of the game once it comes to their turn and they learn what they need to do or confess."

"Maybe that's because of the company you keep," Wedge quipped with a smile.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"It had better not," Han warned as he wagged his finger at his fellow Corellian. "Now, I need a couple of you to help me get the ale."

"I'll help," Luke offered.

"Me too," Zev said.

"Good, that should be enough," Han stated. "Why don't the rest of you find us something to sit on?"

"Good idea," Wedge replied. "Don't want the commander to get even colder by sitting on the ground, now do we?"

"Can it, Antilles," Han scolded lightly. "When Luke comes back out, he'll be as warm as can be."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Luke groaned. "Perhaps Hobbie should help you, and I'll stay out here."

"Oh no you don't," Han exclaimed, grabbing the younger man's upper arm as he tried to get past him. "You're coming in."

"Do I have to?" Luke whined mock-seriously.

"Yep," Han said as he walked up the ramp, pulling the young Jedi with him. "You two will find the ale in the spare cabin. I'll go get Luke's present."

"I have a really bad feeling about this," Luke complained as he led Zev through the small corridor towards the spare cabin. 

"I think it'll be great," Zev admitted. "From what I know of Solo, anyway."

"That's what I'm worried about," Luke said before he stopped in shock as he saw all the boxes of ale in the room. "He wasn't kidding when he said that he had a lot."

"Sithspawn!" Zev exclaimed in shock as he peered over his commander's shoulder. "Where in the Force did he get all this? It must have cost him a fortune."

"Actually it cost me nothing," Han informed them as he came down the hall. "I... confiscated it from an old friend of mine who owed me a sum of money."

"That must have been a great sum."

"Not all that great," Han replied. "I simply took his entire cargo as he hadn't paid me when he was supposed to and wasn't planning on ever doing it either."

"You're hopeless," Luke stated as he suspiciously eyed the package the Corellian held. "Do I even want to know?"

"Sure you do," Han said, smiling. "I picked it up especially for you, knowing how you always complain of the cold. You can't refuse a gift now can you?"

"Oh, he could," Zev responded, leaning against the wall as Han handed Luke the package.

Briefly, Luke hesitated before he opened the bag and peered inside. Not recognizing what he saw, he reached in and pulled out the red colored plastic sac, realizing that it was filled with warm water as he did so. 

"A hot water bottle!" Zev hooted with laughter. "Solo, that's great."

"What? A hot water bottle?" Luke questioned as he looked at the unknown object in his hand before turning his gaze to his friend. "I don't get it. What is this?"

"You don't know?" Han demanded as he arched an eyebrow, amused. "Ah well, probably not. It's an older method of keeping warm. You put hot water in it, as I did, and then you put it in your clothes, thus warming you up."

"I see," Luke commented, glaring at his squad member who was still laughing. There were two things he could do now, reject the gift as they expected him to do, in which case they'd tell everyone, or he could use it. He was cold after all, and any way of warming up was better than none. Opening his outer jacket and pulling at the collars of the shirts he wore, he dropped the hot water bottle into his clothing before he closed the jacket and looked up at his two astonished friends. "Thank you, I'm sure it will work." Turning around, he entered the spare bedroom.

Momentarily, Han simply stood there, surprised, before he began to chuckle. "I guess he gets that one."

"Yeah," Zev admitted, shaking his head. Try as he might, he couldn't completely figure Skywalker out. Every time he thought he had, he'd do something like this, which proved that there was more to the young man than he thought.

"How many boxes do you want us to take out?" Luke called.

"Three should be enough to start," Han said as he entered the room. "There are only twelve bottles in each box."

"Only twelve, do you want us all drunk?"

"You're the only one who gets drunk after one bottle," Han retorted. "I'm sure we'll be coming back for more later."

"Come on you two," Zev said as he picked up a box. "The others will be ready for us by now."

Luke picked up a box and followed his two friends back to the others who had pulled up a series of metal crates into a circular shape. With the _Falcon_ on one side and the ice wall on the other, they were well out of the way of the many Rebels who were currently on-duty. At the far end of the cavern stood the troublesome speeders, a swarm of techs buzzing around them as they attempted to adapt them to the cold. 

"Do I see the word ' _weapon_ ' on that box?" Luke asked as he glanced back at the crates. "Do you think it's safe to be sitting and drinking on them? It would be such a horrible way to go if something inside them exploded during the game."

"Force, yes!" Wes agreed as he began laughing. "After all we've gone through, we'd die of stupidity."

"Don't worry," Hobbie said as he shook his head. "The crates contain every part of blasters except the power cells. We'll be fine."

"Good," Zev said as he placed the box he was holding onto one of the crates. "We've got enough ale here to keep us going all night long."

"And if it doesn't, there's more where this came from," Han announced as he sat down. "Now, about the promise. Does everyone swear to fulfill the demands of the game?"

"You really don't trust anyone, do you?" Wedge inquired, looking at the captain. When he didn't respond, Wedge and the others gave their word.

"Great," Han said as he reached for a few bottles of ale and started passing them around before opening one for himself. "Who starts?"

"Dack suggested the game," Luke reasoned. "He should start."

"Good idea," Wes agreed. "Truth or dare, Dack?"

"No fair," Dack complained, but sighed when he saw the looks on the others' faces. Taking a swig of his drink, he thought about it for a moment. "Dare."

"Yes!" Hobbie exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Now let's see, what can we make him do?"

"I know," Wes exclaimed after a few seconds of silence. "He can get back at Green Squadron for us."

"What do you mean?" Luke inquired, instantly curious.

One of the first things he'd learned upon becoming Commander Narra's second was that there was some competition among the various squads stationed at any base. Each Squadron would use any opportunity they could to take a jibe at the others. It also hadn't taken Luke long to learn that the members of his squad used his reputation as a way of getting at the others. His destruction of the Death Star was their badge of honor. Or ' _our commander is the hero of the Battle of Yavin_ ' as he'd once overheard Wes proudly boasting.

This had naturally added to his apprehension at being a commander as it had shown Luke that a lot of people were using his victory as a basis upon which to judge him and he didn't want to disappoint them. But his status aside, the competition went beyond mere boasting to practical jokes. Nothing serious or dangerous ever occurred as they knew that, competition or not, they were all on the same side of the war and depended on each other in a dogfight. The rivalry simply kept them on their toes and was a way to relieve the stress the constant fighting caused.

Only just last week Green Squadron had successfully gotten the Rogues by spray painting their flight suits and helmets a hot pink and writing feminine versions of their names across the back for all to see. Naturally by the time they had discovered this it had been too late for them to do anything about it as they had been due to take a flight around the system to make sure there were no Imperial scout vessels nearby. Luke's face flushed as he recalled the hooting and whistles they'd gotten as they had left the locker room and made their way towards their X-wings.

The paint had taken several hours of persistent scrubbing to get off and the droids in charge of the laundry had refused to give them a hand, saying that the suits had only just been cleaned. It had been during those hours that they had vowed to get revenge but they had been unable to come up with anything good enough at the time and had thus decided to wait. The other problem had been deciding who would carry out whatever they came up with because if the other squad learned his identity, they would take special care to get back at him in particular. With the paint incident, Luke was sure that it had been Georgiana who had come up with the idea, but he had no way to prove it. Although the way she still persisted in calling him 'Lucy' whenever she met him only added to his conviction.

"What's wrong?" Han asked as he chuckled, the image of the fluorescent Rogues still vivid in his mind. "Pink not your color?"

"Oh ha, ha," Wedge said dryly. "I'd like to see you parading around the base in a pink outfit."

"I think I'll pass on that."

"What's your idea?" Hobbie questioned as he looked at Wes.

"Well, there is a small heater standing seemingly abandoned at the end of the South passage."

"It's not like anyone can use it here," Dack commented nervously, knowing very well that once the game was over and the Greens had discovered whatever his squad member had in mind that they would 'mysteriously' learn that he had been the one to carry out the plot.

"Exactly!" Wes exclaimed. "Why can't we use it here? Because it will melt the ice and everything will get wet. So we get Dack here to install the unit in the Greens' lounge area with a timer so that the water will freeze over their things after the heat stops."

"That's great!" Zev said excitedly. "Chipping the ice off of everything should give them something to do for a while."

"They're going to kill me," Dack moaned as he dropped his head into his hands.

"That's why its a dare," Wedge stated before he took a swig of his drink. "Better do it now as they left on patrol duty only half an hour ago."

"The others aren't going to be too pleased about being left out of this," Luke commented, thinking of the absent Rogues.

"That's their problem," Han replied as he got to his feet. "Let's go."

"Go?" Wedge repeated. "We can't all go with Dack, it would be way too obvious."

"Your lounge area is right next to that of the Greens. We can stand partly inside the entrance of it while Dack does what he needs to."

"Good idea," Hobbie said, eager to watch as much of it as he could.

Luke quickly got to his feet and followed the others as they headed for the South passage. As they walked, he couldn't help but smile as Wedge and Zev occasionally nudged Dack when he slowed down or started to drift off towards the side of the group. 

"This game was your idea," Han reminded him.

"I know. I've got to learn to keep my damn mouth shut."

"I'd like to see that happen," Zev teased him. "Besides, you'll have lots of fun after your turn is over."

"That's what I'm counting on."

"Here we are," Hobbie said as the corridor they were walking in spilled into the South passage. "Nobody's in sight."

With a final sigh, Dack marched over to the small heating unit on the floor and hoisted it up. Taking the lead, he led the others through the icy passages until they reached the hallway with the lounges. He stopped a few feet away from the door to the Greens' lounge and hoped that there would be no one inside it as then he'd be in big trouble. Gathering his courage, he moved forward and entered the room when the door slid open.

Dack quickly caught sight of the small power generator standing on the floor in the far corner behind one of three ratty couches that were scattered around. A few strides brought him there and he hooked up the heater before turning it on. Pulling off his glove, he checked to make sure that it was working before focusing his attention on the timer and setting it for three-quarters of an hour. He waited a few seconds to make sure everything was working well before he quickly left the room.

"Well?" Luke asked as Dack rejoined them.

"It's done."

"Good," Zev stated as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I can't wait to learn of their reaction."

"They'll probably try to convince the Blues to let them use their lounge until they get the ice off," Wes predicted. "The Blues should spread the word of what happened."

"And I'm sure you will too," Dack said sourly. "With my name firmly attached to the story."

"Why ever would I do that?"

"Let's get back to the _Falcon_ ," Han interjected, seeing a little unpleasantness coming.

"Yes," Dack agreed. "Time for you guys to have your turns."

"Who's up now?" Han asked when they arrived back at the _Falcon_ and seated themselves.

"It's Wes' turn," Dack declared. 

"And who made it your choice?" Wes inquired.

"You did when you picked out my dare. Now, what are you taking?"

Wes eyed his friend and could already see the nasty dares he was thinking up to get back at him for what Green Squadron would surely do when they learned that Dack had placed the heater in their room. He quickly decided not to give his friend the opportunity to avenge himself in advance.

"Truth."

"Oh, come on," Wedge complained. "That's no fun. Be courageous, take a chance."

"No."

"Truth can be fun," Luke stated, drawing looks from the others. "You just have to think harder to make it so."

"He's right," Dack agreed. "And I think I know just the thing too. A couple of weeks ago, I overheard one of the visiting special forces men talking about Wes after he'd spotted him in the cafeteria. I didn't get the opportunity to hear everything, but he was telling his buddies something about how he and his group had 'gotten' the 'flyboy' on Azlabar. His friends seemed to think that it was hilarious too. What was that all about?"

"Oh no," Wes groaned before taking a good swig of ale. "Who was it that mentioned that?"

"Don't know his name, but it was a big guy with red-brown hair."

"Tin'orn. That figures."

"Azlabar, wasn't that an old Alliance training planet before it was discovered by the Imps?" Wedge asked.

"Yes, it was," Wes confirmed. "It was where we trained the commandos and special forces as Azlabar had many different types of terrain in a reasonably small area. I was assigned to Azlabar as soon as I had been certified as an Alliance pilot."

"What were you doing there as a pilot?" Zev inquired.

"First and foremost my squad was there to protect the bases in case of an attack. But we also ferried supplies and men from the main base to the smaller ones scattered around in the different terrains. It was after such an errand that I ended up on the base situated in the jungle area of the planet. The base commander wanted me to stay for a few days as by then he'd have something for me to take to the main base and there was no point in returning only to come back again. So I stayed, which is how I came to know Tin'orn and his gang."

"You make them sound like bad guys," Han observed.

"They really weren't," Wes responded. "And I say that despite what they did to me too. Seeing me wandering aimlessly around the base, they asked me to join them on a training mission they were going to do. Naturally I was hesitant as I had no experience with jungle terrain whatsoever, but Tin'orn insisted, saying that it would be easy and that what I would learn might someday come in handy."

"A special forces group simply invited you along?" Hobbie inquired suspiciously. "I thought they didn't like us flyboys all that much."

"They probably didn't and, in retrospect, I suspect that they had something in mind but, whatever it was, they never had the time to go through with it," Wes explained. "We weren't all that far from the base when we were attacked by some type of animal. I never did learn what it was, but it had plenty of sharp claws. We were completely caught off guard as the immediate vicinity around the base was supposed to be safe. Luckily for us, I had just been trying to get my holster into a better position because the way it was my blaster kept poking me. Therefore I had easy access to my weapon and was able to shoot at the creature. I don't think that I hit it, but I must have come close enough as it disappeared into the undergrowth with a loud screech."

"Why would Tin'orn be laughing at you for that?" Luke demanded. "You saved them."

"That's not what he was laughing at. After this incident, though, they wanted to make me an unofficial member of their group and told me so that evening when we were back at the base drinking some Modosian whiskey they'd somehow gotten their hands on. That was before I had started drinking so I was quickly drunk and blacked out, which must have been what they had been trying to do because when I woke up I was no longer in the same room."

"Where were you?" Zev pressed when his friend stopped and started shifting uncomfortably while taking a drink.

"In the women's bathroom."

"What?" Hobbie demanded as he began to laugh.

"And?" Han questioned, knowing that there had to be more to it.

"And I was naked and cuffed to the piping of one of the sinks in clear view of the entrance."

"Force!" Dack exclaimed as he began laughing so hard that he fell from his crate while trying to picture his friend in that situation.

"What happened then?" Luke asked as he tried but failed to keep his laughter hidden.

"A couple of female staff members walked in, that's what happened," Wes replied, his face growing a deep shade of red as he remembered his embarrassment and futile attempts to cover himself up when the women had stared at him in surprise. "They laughed at me for a bit before one of them noticed that the remote for the binders was on the ledge next to the mirror."

"So they let you go," Hobbie concluded. 

"After a bit of teasing, yes. Apparently I wasn't the first who had been initiated that way."

"Naked in the women's bathroom, I like that idea," Zev mumbled between laughs. "Wait till the others hear this."

"You wouldn't!"

"Of course I will, they'll love it!"

Wes moaned, causing the others to laugh even harder. Briefly thinking of what the rest of the Rogues would say when they found out, he decided that he'd rather not think of it. If he ever came across Tin'orn again, he'd need to see if he could convince him not to bring up mention of his initiation as an honorary special forces member to anyone again.

"Now that everyone has had their fun, can we continue?" Wes finally demanded dryly when the others didn't stop. 

"Come on, Wes, you have to agree that that was priceless!" Zev wheezed in-between fits of laughter.

"No, it wasn't."

"Maybe not from your perspective, but I wish that I'd been there!" Han stated. 

"Can we move on?"

"I think he's a little humiliated," Hobbie teased as he calmed down. "Who's next?"

"Why, our beloved commander of course," Wes stated. "What will it be, Luke, truth or dare?"

Luke hesitated briefly, not sure what to take. Both truth and dare had turned out to be equally bad so far. But was there anything that they could ask him to reveal if he took truth that he wouldn't want to? Rapidly searching his mind, he couldn't immediately come up with anything while he could very readily conjure up a few disturbing dares. Several of which had the words 'snow' and 'near nudity' in the same phrase.

"Truth."

"Not again," Han complained in disappointment as he reached for a second bottle of ale. He'd had big plans for the young Jedi's dare.

"Truth," Hobbie repeated thoughtfully. "What do we want to know about Luke but would never ask him otherwise?"

"I've got one," Wedge said a few silent minutes later as he leaned towards his commander and friend, seeing the others do so as well. "Have you ever been kissed by a girl, either on the lips or the cheeks. If so, who was she?"

"Yes, yes I have," Luke replied reluctantly as he felt his face flush a little, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of that. "Twice."

"Lips or cheek?" Han demanded, instantly interested.

"Cheek, both times."

"Who was she?" Hobbie asked, smiling at the discomfort Skywalker was showing. He liked his naïve young commander, but it was always fun to watch people squirm during this game. So much came to light in a single game, both embarrassing and surprising information, that he always looked forward to them. "Do we know her?"

"I..." Luke began as he thought furiously. Could he get out of this? After all, he was sure the woman in question wouldn't want her name mentioned. "I can't say."

"Ah, ah, ah, tsk, tsk, tsk," Han scolded. "You promised at the start of the game that you would do whatever was required. You can't back out of your promise now."

"Thanks for the support," Luke mumbled before he took another careful sip of his drink. At least he wasn't drunk on his turn. Han, however, might very well be at the rate he was going and that would definitely make things interesting. "I know I made a promise, but..."

"Out with it!" Wes chanted and Dack quickly joined him. "Out with it! Out with it!"

"Okay, okay!" Luke said loudly, seeing the glances they were getting from the officers and techs on the other side of the cave and not wanting more people in on this. "Just don't tell anyone. It was Leia."

"The Princess?!" Wedge responded incredulously as Han choked on his ale.

"Yes," Luke confirmed as he saw the astonished looks on the faces of the others.

"When was this?" Dack inquired. " _Where_ was this?"

"I answered the question," Luke protested. "You can't add to it."

"Ah, come on!" Wedge complained. "You can't leave us hanging like this."

"Sure I can."

"Tell us," Wes begged. "What are friends for? We'll keep it a secret."

"Yeah right, you keeping something quiet, that'll be the day!" Hobbie snorted in disbelief.

"Hey, I'm trying to get him to talk here, can't you be quiet yourself for once?" Wes replied when the others snickered.

"Knock it off guys, he won't talk. If he wants to keep the juicy details of his little relationship with Princess Organa a secret, then let him," Han interjected, knowing it would draw a response. But why did the thought hurt? Why should he care if her Royal Highness liked the kid? Just because he hadn't thought it would happen didn't mean that it couldn't. "It was probably some private and romantic thing."

"If you consider being chased by stormtroopers romantic, then sure, it was," Luke stated, knowing that he was falling right into Han's trap, but not caring as he also knew that it was better to give in and tell all than to leave the whole thing unknown. That would only start rumors and he didn't want them to get out of hand least Leia heard them.

"Stormtroopers?"

"Yes, it happened onboard the Death Star," Luke explained, startling everyone. "Just after you decided to take on a bunch of stormtroopers by yourself and Chewie wisely decided to go help you," he continued as he looked pointedly at Han. "That left Leia and myself to go another direction. We ended up in an unfinished part of the station and were stuck on a ledge behind a closed blastdoor with the stormtroopers trying desperately to open it. Once I'd gotten my grapple hook secured so that we could swing across the abyss before us to the other side, she planted a kiss on my cheek saying it was 'for luck.'"

"And the other time?" Zev inquired visibly disappointed that it wasn't something juicier.

"Just before I got into my X-wing for the Battle of Yavin," Luke smirked, their disappointment delighting him. "Same reason, though."

"You win some, you lose some," Dack stated. "Who's next?"

"Wedge," Luke declared, finishing off his ale and instantly getting a second bottle from Han. "Truth or dare?"

Wedge hesitated as he looked around at the others, trying to judge whether or not they had something nasty in store for him. Then, remembering how Wes had somehow managed to learn of the reprimand on his file, he decided to stick clear of truth. He'd no doubt that his friends were dying to know what he'd done to get into trouble and that was a story he'd rather not have circulating. It wasn't all that bad, simply embarrassing.

"Dare."

"Sith!" Wes exclaimed.

"You didn't honestly think that I'd have forgotten your interest in my past mistakes, did you?"

"I was hoping."

"Well I have the perfect dare for him," Luke announced happily. Perhaps this would get at least one of his squad members off his case for being cold all the time. "I dare you to strip down to your underwear and go roll around in the snow outside."

"But, but..." Wedge stammered, shivering at the very thought of the icy snow on his flesh. "That falls under dangerous, I could freeze to death!"

"Not by rolling around for a minute, if even that," Han replied. "Besides, I've got some thermoblankets on the _Falcon_. You'll be dried off and warm in no time."

Wedge whimpered as he looked at his commander to see if he could change his mind, but only got a delighted smile in return. "Let me guess," he said. "This is for teasing you?"

"Yep."

"Then I brought this upon myself," Wedge concluded as he got to his feet. "Let's get this over with. Solo, the blankets please."

"Just a moment," Han replied as he got to his feet and boarded the _Falcon_. A minute or two later, he reemerged and tossed the blankets to Luke. "You take 'em and give them to him when you feel he's fulfilled his dare."

"Okay," Luke responded before sweeping his arm in the direction of the cavern doors. "Shall we?"

As a group they navigated their way towards the opposite side of the entrance cavern, dodging techs and on-duty personnel as they went. Reaching their destination, Zev unlocked one of the doors built next to the blastdoors so that people could quickly enter and exit without needing to open the big doors every time. 

Luke glanced around as he stepped outside, crossing his arms so that his hands were tucked well under his arms for extra protection from the bone-numbing cold. "Over there," he said as he indicated a spot just to the left of the blastdoors which was sheltered from the fierce winds whipping remorselessly across the barren plains.

"It's freezing!" Wedge complained, noting how everyone else was pulling their clothes tighter to themselves.

"Yes it is," Han agreed unsympathetically with a smile. "The faster you do it, the faster you can get back inside."

"Strip," Wes ordered with glee, inwardly thankful that this wasn't his dare.

With a last glance at his commander, Wedge reluctantly began to remove his outer garments, handing them to Hobbie. He gasped as the bitter cold hit his exposed neck. Taking off his sweater next, he began to shiver violently as the thin material of his shirt provided practically no protection to the chill seeking to seep into him.

"Please, Commander," Wedge said as he turned to the younger man. "Can I do something else?"

"Nope," Luke replied, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "You're only getting your just desserts."

"Right. You brought this on yourself," Zev commented as he regarded his superior, wondering if the Tatooinian was starting to get drunk. He definitely seemed to be a lot less reserved than usual.

With a sigh of resignation, Wedge swiftly began removing the rest of his clothing, knowing that it was best to get it over with quickly. His shivering rapidly increased and his teeth began to chatter as more and more of his flesh became exposed to the subzero temperatures. He made a mental note to not tease Luke about being cold again. His socks were the last thing to go and he instantly shifted his weight from one foot to another as the snow seemed to burn the soles of his feet with its impossible coldness. He had never known that he could be so utterly cold.

"The dare was to roll around in the snow, not simply dance upon it," Dack stated as he observed his friend's jerky movements with an amused expression.

"You try doing it!" Wedge snapped back, not at all cherishing the thought of letting the frigid flakes envelope him in their icy embrace.

"We should have brought a recorder," Zev commented as he watched his comrade. "The others would love to see this."

"Yes," Hobbie agreed. "Nice shorts, by the way Wedge."

Wedge simply growled as he looked down at his yellow underwear with its purple polka dots. "They were a gift," he ground out.

"Really," Dack replied as he lifted one eyebrow. "I sense an intriguing story behind that statement."

"You have a dirty mind," the Corellian retorted as he shot his friend a dark look. "Ah, what the hell."

With that, Wedge quickly dropped to his knees before he lay down on the ground. Yelping despite himself as the snow bit his flesh, he suppressed the desire to leap to his feet and began rolling around. The extreme cold seeped into his body as he forced his body to rotate back and forth before his delighted friends.

"I don't think he'll be teasing you again," Han said as he watched the younger man.

"Hmm," Luke agreed and waited a few seconds. "I think that does it."

Instantly, Wedge sprang to his feet and darted to Luke, who handed him the thermoblankets. Wrapping them tightly around himself, he hobbled towards the door.

"Is it just me or was he starting to turn blue?" Dack questioned as he chuckled at the other's hasty retreat.

"I don't think it was you," Hobbie responded as he moved to head in himself. "Let's not miss everyone's reaction."

"Sith!" Wes exclaimed as he raced inside.

The others quickly followed them and smiled as they saw Wedge rapidly making his way towards the _Falcon_ as techs and pilots whistled and laughed as he passed them. The Corellian's appearance and Hobbie's armload were enough to cue them in to exactly what had transpired outside.

"What's wrong?" someone called out. "A little chilly?"

Wedge paused only long enough to glare at the person in question, before continuing on his way and running up the ramp of the cargo ship. Hobbie soon followed him with his clothes.

"Why don't we warm up ourselves while he changes back into his clothes?" Zev suggested as they reached the crates and sat down.

"Good idea," Wes stated as he reached forward and grabbed a bottle of alcohol and passed it to his friend. "Anyone else?"

"I'll have another," Dack said.

"You're all going to be drunk before this game is over," Luke commented as he picked up his nearly finished drink.

"Nah," Hobbie replied. "And even if we were to get stoned, what would be wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you can get up tomorrow. Cause don't forget, we've got the dawn shift."

"Not again!" Zev moaned as he dropped his head into his hands. "Why is it always us? Why not the Greens?"

"Because Georgiana's involved with the guy in charge of putting together the schedules, that's why!" Wes exclaimed. "I saw them kissing the other day."

"I thought she was going out with that big guy from the radar room," Dack said.

"Not anymore apparently."

"Figures."

"I'll go see what's holding up our human icicle," Han stated as silence descended upon the group.

He soon returned with Wedge in tow, a bunch of dry blankets wrapped tightly around him, making him look like a walking ball of cloth with a head.

"Feeling better?" Luke inquired flippantly, smiling at the sight as his friend sat down and was promptly handed a bottle of ale by his fellow Corellian.

"I'm beginning to feel like a human again if that's what you mean," the ebony haired man muttered darkly before he took a sip from his drink. "Oh, that feels good!"

"Nothing like Corellian ale to warm you right up," Han agreed as he opened his third bottle.

"Who's next, Wedge?" Wes inquired before he took a sip of ale.

"Hmm, Hobbie," Wedge quickly decided. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"All right!" Zev exclaimed. "I dare you to go up to that lovely brunette in the cafeteria--"

"Oh, no!" Hobbie groaned.

"Oh, yes," Zev responded with glee. "And tell her that you think she's got a great body."

"Come on! I was planning on approaching her."

"I thought you said earlier that you didn't have a crush on her," Wes needled.

"Yeah, Hobbie," Wedge added. "You should be happy. We're doing you a favor if what you say is true."

"A favor?" Hobbie demanded incredulously, nearly choking on his drink. "She's liable to smack me! Didn't you see what she did to that groping drunk the other night?"

"That had to hurt," Dack said as he winced at the memory, and he'd only been an observer. He couldn't imagine what the guy must have felt like.

"He deserved it," Luke declared fiercely. "He had no right to do what he did!"

"No, he didn't," Zev agreed. "But let's not get sidetracked here. Hobbie has a dare to complete."

"Let's go then," Han declared as he tossed the young Jedi-in-training another bottle as he put down the one he'd just finished and he took another one for himself.

Hobbie briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he got to his feet and followed the former pirate towards the base's biggest mess hall. He furiously thought of the best way to approach Cla're so that what he had to say to her wouldn't come across as overtly lascivious. And hope that the Force would be kind to him and not have anyone else be present when he told her.

They reached the cafeteria far too quickly for Hobbie. As they entered, all it took was a quick scan of the room and he'd already spotted her. Luckily for him, Cla're was alone, standing at the tray pick-up area, transferring trays and utensils from a cart in preparation for the upcoming meal. Briefly clenching and unclenching his fists, he steeled himself, glancing at his friends.

"Good luck," Wes stated gleefully.

Not deigning his friend with an answer, Hobbie walked across the empty room, the heels of his shoes clicking loudly. "Hey," he said nervously as he reached her side.

"Hello," Cla're replied, looking up as she set a stack of trays down. "We're not serving food just yet."

"No?" Hobbie questioned as he reached over to the chafers that stood out and lifted the lid of the nearest one. Instantly, his nose was assaulted by the stench of something the smelt remarkably like the decaying whale carcass he'd once found washed up on the shore when he was a boy. He only caught a glimpse of a tangled glob of some squiggly light orange stuff as he reflexively dropped the lid. "What in Sith's name is that?"

"Gimla brains," Cla're supplied as a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Brains?! The Alliance serves brains for lunch?"

"Yes, it's a Mon Calamari delicacy and we just happened to get hold of some. An undercover team on Mon Calamari used it as a detriment to Imperial inspection when they smuggled spaceship parts off-planet."

"I wouldn't search crates with this stuff either," Hobbie declared as he finally managed to get rid of the stench.

"I don't think any human would."

"You'd be surprised. I know a few guys who wouldn't so much as flinch when confronted with it. They'd say it was a delicate aroma."

Cla're snorted as she took the last of the plastic trays off the cart and placed them where they belonged. "So, if you're not here to eat, then what are you doing?" she inquired as she tucked an errant strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I... uh... you," Hobbie began, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he glanced at the floor.

"Yes?"

"You've got a great body," Hobbie blurted out before risking a glance at her face. Her blue eyes were unreadable as they scanned him in return, but her cheeks were definitely taking on a red tinge. "I mean... I've been watching you for a while now," he rushed to explain.

"Watching me?" Cla're repeated in a whisper.

"Yes, it's just that..."

"Does this have anything to do with them?" Cla're demanded as she indicated the group of pilots crowding the cafeteria entrance, a hint of anger creeping into her voice.

"Yes, but it's not what it seems!" Hobbie hastily added, seeing what she was thinking. "I really do like you. This is more than just a dare. You see, I'd made a comment about you earlier and one of the guys thought it would be funny to make me say it to your face."

Cla're brought a hand up and Hobbie flinched, fully expecting to get slapped. Instead she simply poked him in the chest with her forefinger.

"Are you telling me that you've been observing me and talking about me with your friends?"

"Eh... yes."

"Why in the Force haven't you said anything?"

"Huh?" Hobbie blinked at the unexpected turn in the conversation. "Well... I didn't think you'd be interested."

"Are you kidding? I've been interested for quite a while."

"You have?"

"Yes! You've just never been alone in here long enough for me to approach you."

"I thought... actually the other Rogues and I thought you were interested in Luke," Hobbie explained, his hopes rising.

"Skywalker?" Cla're asked and blushed when the pilot nodded. "Yeah, well... that was hero worship and curiosity. I mean, he does have quite a reputation and I was interested in seeing what type of person he was, that's all."

"And, did you find out?"

"Yes, but he's not my type. You are."

"Well, in that case, why don't you join me next time I'm here?"

"I'll do that," Cla're promised before she looked towards the waiting Rogues. "I think your friends are getting impatient. You'd better go tell whoever dared you to come tell me that his plan backfired and there won't be any fireworks today."

"I'll take pleasure in doing so," Hobbie stated with a smile. "Care to join me?"

"I would like to, but I've got work to do. It's a wonder no one's come looking to see what's taking me so long as it is."

"Oops! I'll leave you to it then before you get into trouble with your supervisor. Bye."

"Goodbye," Cla're said before she pushed the cart back to the kitchens.

Hobbie waited until she was gone before he turned back to his friends who were making their way towards him.

"What happened?" Wes demanded. "We couldn't hear a word from where we were."

"Oh, nothing special," Hobbie commented nonchalantly with a secretive smile.

"Well, she didn't react the way Zev had hoped," Luke said, fiddling with his ale bottle, mildly surprised when he noticed that he was over halfway through it already. Han really was a bad influence on him at times.

"At first I thought she would," Hobbie admitted before his face took on a smug smile. "But it turns out she's noticed me too and has been looking to approach me for a while now."

"She what?" Wes demanded as Dack hooted with laughter at the look on Zev's face.

"Well there's just no accounting for such bad taste," Han declared.

"Hey!"

"I have to agree with Solo on this one," Wedge stated as he attempted to keep a straight face. "What with so many good looking Corellians around here."

"You Corellians are so full of yourselves," Hobbie retorted. "You've got an ego bigger than the Emperor's."

"Somehow I highly doubt that," Zev said.

"Just what are you saying?" Wedge questioned as he stepped up to Hobbie.

"You know exactly what I'm saying. It's always 'Corellians this' and 'Corellians that' as if you were some other superior species altogether."

"He's got a point there," Luke declared simultaneously with Han's "But we are!"

"Excuse me?" Wes stated as he turned to the smuggler.

"What, didn't you know?" Han questioned innocently. "We, Corellians, are a more advanced form of the human race. We are smarter, faster, stronger and are better looking. Women simply can't refuse our charms."

Dack snorted as Wes and Hobbie made choking noises. Luke looked at them, mildly concerned about the latter two before they broke out in fits of laughter.

"Women... can't refuse your... charms?" Hobbie repeated with effort.

"I don't know about the smarter, stronger and better looking," Wes added. "But you probably are faster... or else why would you two still be single given your 'charms.'"

"Hey!" Wedge exclaimed as Luke and Dack joined the other two in peals of laughter at the look of indignation on his and Han's faces.

"Maybe its because we just haven't found someone suitable yet," Han retorted rather loudly to be heard.

"Sure," Luke stated.

"Watch it, Kid," Han warned. "I could have any woman on this ice chunk of a planet."

"So we're back to the ego again," Wes declared.

"What do you expect with you challenging our honor like that?" Wedge questioned.

"Honor?" Zev repeated looking at his commander and squad mates.

"Let's head back to the _Falcon_ ," Luke suggested, suddenly knowing where Zev was going.

"No," Hobbie said before anyone moved. "Zev, it's your turn. What are you taking?"

With a frown, Zev observed his friend, wondering what he was up to. Unable to figure it out, he simply shrugged. "Dare."

"Perfect," Hobbie stated as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I dare you to eat that special dish Cla're and the rest of the kitchen staff have prepared for the Mon Calamari."

"Which is what?" Dack inquired curiously.

"Gimla brains."

"Brains?" Zev chocked out, horrified.

"What's a Gimla?" Luke asked.

"A fish-like creature that lives in the oceans of Mon Calamari," Han explained as he smiled. "I've heard that the Mon Calamari consider their brains to be something of a delicacy. Though my friend did mention that it tasted positively revolting."

"Thanks for the encouragement," Zev stated as he swallowed nervously, his stomach already acting up at the mere thought of eating anything's brains.

"Anytime."

"Come on," Hobbie said as he turned around and headed back to the serving line. There, he picked up a bowl and filled it before bringing it to the table Wedge and Wes had guided Zev to. "Eat up."

Luke leaned forward to look into the dish, his face twisting into a disgusted expression when he saw the light orange goo within it. "These are brains?"

"It probably lost its shape when it was cooked," Dack guessed as he wrinkled his nose as he got a whiff of the odor emanating from the tangled mass of nerves. "Either that or the Gimla have a very different brain structure from us."

As his companions discussed the food, if it could be called that, before him, Zev started to feel sick. The last time he'd smelt something as nauseating as the stench from the brains before him was when he'd been forced to hide from Imps in a barn on Mantooine and had ended up spending the night next to a eopie with indigestion problems. And that was not to mention the fact that the dish looked like something that one got stuck on the bottom of your shoe when roaming the underworld of some planet; not something you'd voluntarily put into your mouth.

"Oh look, Zevy is looking a little green," Wes teased, using the older man's hated nickname.

"Don't call me that!"

"Tuck in," Luke said as he stepped back a pace.

With a deep breath, Zev steeled himself for what he was about to do, not intending on letting his friends see how revolted he was with what he was about to do. Mentally he said a quick prayer to his home world deity before he picked up the spoon and took a big bite. His taste buds instantly screamed at him to eject the matter from his mouth as they came into contact with the foul food, but he stilled the impulse. Only just. Swallowing as quickly as he could, he plastered a fake smile on his face.

"That wasn't so bad."

"Oh, really?" Dack inquired as he raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yep."

"Then you should have no problems finishing off the rest of it," Hobbie said.

"Nope, no problem at all," Zev lied as he eyed the pile of neurons.

A few scoops later, he was seriously regretting his words and was wondering if he could keep up his false façade. The instinct to gag needed to be overcome with every mouthful and the amount of brains left to be taken in didn't seem to be getting any smaller. It seemed like eons later when he finally got to the last spoonful. Unable to control himself anymore and needing to get rid of the horrendous taste the lingered in his mouth, he jumped to his feet and raced back to the West entrance and the ale. On the way there he contemplated stopping at one of the restrooms and vomiting, but his pride stopped him as he knew he'd never live it down if he did that.

"I thought it didn't taste bad," Han teased when he and the others arrived back at the _Falcon_ to find Zev opening a new bottle and practically inhaling its contents.

"Why don't you try some and find out?"

"I think I'll pass."

"I thought so."

Luke shook his head as he sat down once more before taking a long swig from his ale, feeling lightheaded as he did so. The next thing he knew, he was laying on his back behind the crate he'd been sitting on only seconds before; the bottle he'd been holding rolling away as the others roared with laughter.

"What's wrong, Kid?" Han questioned as he eyed the young Jedi-in-training's rapidly reddening face. "Did the crate suddenly tip and dump you on the floor?"

"Very funny," Luke snapped as he caught sight of the looks they were getting from the techs and other pilots as their noise level increased.

"How much did you have?" Wedge asked as he finally managed to stop laughing long enough to speak. "Surely it wasn't all that much."

"None of your business," Luke mumbled as he made to get up, but he only got to his knees before the room lurched sharply and he found himself flat on his back once more. This only caused his friends to break out into new fits of laughter.

"Don't worry, we'll help you up, Commander," Wes finally offered as he got up.

"Yeah," Hobbie agreed as he helped the younger man hoist the Tatooinian off the ground and back into his seat. "You going stay there this time?"

"Yes," Luke replied as he clamped his hands onto the edge of the crate, his face red as he detected the patronizing tone.

"Good, we wouldn't want you to have too many bruises after your first time drinking," Wes commented.

"It's not my first time!"

"I can attest to that," Han with a lopsided grin as he thought back to the first time he'd met the boy.

"Oh?" Dack said as he watched the Corellian take his fifth bottle and started greedily gulping it down. "Do tell."

"No," Luke hastily stated, not wanting his little mishap at Mos Eisley circulating the base. "Besides, isn't it Han's turn to go?"

"Yes, it is," Zev replied, deciding to give his superior a break. "What'll it be, Solo? A cowardly truth or a manly dare?"

"Hey, I object to that phrasing!" Wes sputtered loudly.

"Me too," Luke said as he carefully brought a hand up to his throbbing temples.

"Gee, I wonder why?" Hobbie responded sarcastically before he turned his attention to the pirate. "So?"

"Why, dare, of course," Han stated cockily.

"Let's think now," Wes stated just as the hanger doors opened to admit a squad of X-wings.

"Looks like the Greens are returning," Dack said nervously as he watched them land before the cockpits opened. "How long do you figure before they discover their lounge?"

"Fifteen to twenty minutes," Wedge estimated as he watched the techs roll up ladders so that the pilots could get out of their craft. "They need to change and debrief before they can think of relaxing."

As Commander Saltar briefly talked with a tech while gesturing towards one of the X-wings, the rest of his squad grouped together to discuss something until one of them caught sight of the observing Rogues. The fact that ale was getting to be a rarer commodity in the cafeteria as of late only caused Wes to hold up his bottle for them to see before taking a long swallow from it. Luke suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and simply returned the glares with a smug smile.

"I don't think they like us much right now," Han declared as they trudged off.

"Just wait till they discover what we've done," Hobbie stated. "Then they _really_ won't like us!"

"You mean Dack," Wes corrected.

"Anyway," Dack said, not wanting to follow that train of thought. "I think I know Solo's dare."

"Yes?" Zev inquired.

"Well we all heard his little declaration earlier in the cafeteria, the one about being able to get any woman on Hoth."

"And you suggest we make him prove that irresistible Corellian charm?" Hobbie asked, a smile blossoming as he realized where his friend was going.

"But of course."

"Go ahead, name the woman," Han stated as he put down his half full bottle, nearly smashing it as he misjudged the distance to the ground.

Dack looked at Hobbie, before meeting Wes' eyes. "Why, Princess Organa, naturally. It should be no problem for someone so superior to the rest of us non-Corellians to warm up the Ice Princess herself."

"Oh no, not her!" Han instantly replied, images of an enraged Leia swimming into view before his eyes.

"You can't back out of your promise now," Luke stated smartly, throwing the Corellian's words back at him even as a small part of his brain realized that the others were right about the alcohol getting to him as he'd never have said that otherwise. His thoughts was confirmed when he returned Han's glare with a cocky smile.

"It's not like you can speak," Wedge reminded the Tatooinian.

"Can it, Antilles," Luke retorted.

"Oooooo!" Wes exclaimed in surprise and delight at his commander's attitude. "I'd watch your step if I were you, Wedge. You've just been told to shut up by a superior officer!"

"So I noticed," Wedge replied with a lopsided smile as he glanced at Luke, not in the least offended. It was interesting to learn that the young Jedi made a cocky drunk. That was definitely better than Zev who became all sappy, which made his high tolerance for alcohol a very good thing.

"Let's not get sidetracked here," Dack interjected. "Solo needs to do his dare."

"Yeah," Hobbie agreed. "Are you a hypocrite, Solo? You are the one who was talking about how annoying it was when people backed out of the game."

"I..." Han began, but stopped when he realized that he was trapped as a direct result of his own doing. "But you promised not to do anything that would get us into serious trouble with the Council!"

"This won't," Zev countered. "It'll only get you into serious trouble with Princess Organa."

"Same thing," Han muttered before he let out a resigned sigh. "Oh, all right, I'll do it."

"Good."

When Han got to his feet, Luke was pleased to note that he didn't seem as steady as he normally was. It was good to know that he wasn't the only one who'd consumed more ale than he should have. With that thought in mind, he very carefully rose to his own feet, wobbling slightly in place. Force, how was he going to follow the group without making a fool of himself the whole way?

Luke cocked his head to the side as he wondered if the Force really could help him. But how?

As the others began to head towards the exit of the cavern, Luke suddenly felt a hand on is arm.

"I've got you," Dack said with a small smile as Luke looked up.

"Thanks," Luke replied as he followed the others, using his gunner for support.

As they made their way through the frozen halls, Luke noticed that they were drawing a lot of attention as Han was smugly, though somewhat unsteadily, striding along. The fact that the rest of them looked like a group of kids trying hard not to giggle as they got up to something they knew they shouldn't, didn't help either. It wasn't until a major glanced disapprovingly at him and Dack, though, that the first inklings of shame started to creep into his mind. Perhaps this wasn't the brightest idea? Yet he couldn't figure out why.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Hobbie demanded as Han turned a corner and led them down a side corridor.

"Of course," Han declared, sounding affronted. "I heard the princess state that she was going to the control room to go over the base security with General Rieekan when I was debriefing earlier. She should still be there."

"So now what?" Wes inquired as they reached the end of the corridor where it spilled into a main hallway a little ways away from the entrance to the control room. "You gonna waltz in there and woo her in front of the general?"

"Maybe," Han's cocky reply set off warning bells in Luke's mind.

Now that they were so close, Luke suddenly wasn't so sure this was such a good idea. Leia wouldn't appreciate this, he realized as he leaned against the ice wall so that he could peer at the doors behind which she was. Not to mention the fact that he'd prefer his Corellian friend not to try to gain Leia's attention. Watching as the man in question pondered his options, he felt jealously rise within him.

"Oh, there she is!" Wedge hissed as he jumped backwards so that he was in the shadows cast by the corridor's wall.

The others quickly followed his lead so that only Han remained clearly visible as Leia talked with someone in the control room for a few moments. Watching her, Luke felt his unease rise. They shouldn't be doing this to her. Han shouldn't be doing this. Before he could say anything, though, Han had started walking towards his target. The smuggler stopped a short distance from her and leaned against the wall behind her as she finished her conversation.

"Captain Solo," Leia said with surprise when she turned to leave, the doors to the control room closing behind her.

"Princess Organa," Han mimicked her haughty tone.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, actually there is," Han replied as he pushed off from the wall. "You see, I've been awfully cold lately and was wondering if you'd warm me up."

"Excuse me?" Leia exclaimed in shock as she took a step back while the watching Rogues were either biting their lips or muffling their laughter with their hands.

"Like that's going to work with her!" Dack snorted.

"' _I've been awfully cold lately and was wondering if you'd warm me up'_?" Hobbie repeated. "What is he thinking?"

"Shh," Luke warned, not wanting to give away their presence and needing to hear Leia's response. Perhaps letting Han do this would be all right, Leia was sure to tear him apart now.

"What did you just say to me?" The princess demanded dangerously.

"You heard me. I've also got some Corellian ale I picked up, it's good to ward off Hoth's chill," Han declared suggestively, stepping closer to her. "And then we can see about other matters. You need to loosen up a little, keeping all that stress inside is not good for you. I can help you relax."

"You're drunk," Leia realized as she got a sniff of his breath as he leaned forward and ran his hand down her arm. "Don't touch me!" the command was snapped as she slapped away his arm and stepped back.

"Oh, brilliant move, Solo," Zev snickered as the hall's other occupants stopped to look at the arguing couple. "I'm learning so much about your superior charms, Wedge."

"I should be taking notes for the next time I want to woo a woman," Wes added.

"Oh shut up," Wedge retorted as he glared at his teammates. "Not every Corellian's perfect. It's not my fault he's... ugh... oh what's the word?"

"Inadequate?" Luke suggested without thinking. "Impotent?"

"Luke!" Wes exclaimed softly as the others snorted. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"You're gonna miss the fireworks," Hobbie warned.

"Oh, come on. What's wrong, your Highness? Afraid you might enjoy it?" Han questioned as he remembered Luke's truth. "I hear you've kissed others on base. It's time to melt that frosty shell of yours and loosen up."

"What? Why you..." Leia began, her face darkening and her hands clenched into small fists that shook with anger. "Captain Solo, I never! I don't know who you think you are, but I shall not be talked to that way! Nor would I sleep with you for all the wealth of the Emperor!"

"Come now, Gorgeous," Han insisted as he grabbed her waist when she moved to brush by him.

In the blink of eye, Leia spun around and slapped his face, hard.

"Don't you ever--" Leia began but stopped when the sound of muffled laughter reached her. Glancing to her left she could see several figures in the shadows, all of whom pulled back quickly. "I see, so that is how it is, now is it?" Her attention once more on the astounded pirate before her. "If you ever try something like that again, I shall have you thrown from this base for sexual harassment."

"But... I..." Han stammered as she stormed away, heading in the opposite direction of the waiting Rogues.

"I see exactly what I've been doing wrong all these years," Zev declared loud enough for Han to hear as soon as he was sure the princess was gone.

"Indeed," Wes agreed. "It always helps to watch an expert in action."

Luke was about to add a comment of his own when Han suddenly seemed to snap out of his daze and turned towards the Rogues, swearing violently in Huttese. With a snort, Luke's words vanished and he dissolved instead into laughter.

"That's not anatomically possible," he finally wheezed out just as the Corellian reached them. "Not for a human anyway."

"That shows what you know," Han replied nastily.

"No," Luke replied, ignoring the inquiring sounds the others were making. "No, impossible. You're not serious... are you?"

"No, I'm not," the older man relented upon seeing his friend's huge eyes.

"What are you two talking about?" Wedge demanded.

"Nothing," Han declared.

"Didn't sound like nothing," Zev stated. "Were you insulting us or Organa?"

"Both," Luke said as he looked down the corridor Leia had stormed off in. "I think we'd better get out of here in case she decides to return."

"Good idea," Hobbie agreed as he turned and headed back the way they'd come.

Han tried to ignore the comments the Rogues made as they headed back to the _Falcon_ , knowing better than to give them more ammunition. It wasn't until Wedge started commenting that he was an exception to the rule, that he couldn't take it anymore.

"So much for Corellian camaraderie," he growled at the pilot.

"That's life," Wedge retorted.

"It's a danger--" Dack began but stopped as he was interrupted by an explosion of explicatives echoing down the corridor they were in.

"What in Force's name?" Wes stated as he stopped.

"Green squad," Hobbie realized as he noted that they were near the squadron lounges.

"Force, no!" Dack moaned as the cursing was echoed by others, each one getting more colorful and menacing than the last.

"Perhaps we shouldn't return to where they saw us last," Zev suggested.

"We need to warn the others too," Luke agreed.

"Oh, so you're just going to leave me to deal with it, are you?" Han demanded.

"Yes," Wedge said, clapping his fellow Corellian on the shoulder. "Besides, you can just tell them it was Dack."

"I'm doomed," Dack groaned.

 

April 2006

**Author's Note:**

> The amazing Zawiah's (matbiyan@yahoo.com) did three great illustrations for inclusion in the _Star Wars_ fanzine _I Don't Care What You Smell_ : [Han and the Rogues](https://photos.app.goo.gl/XItc1ouMHNPDNq4l2), [Janson](https://photos.app.goo.gl/tR11wib9F0Xbruwp1) & [Wedge](https://photos.app.goo.gl/4H8qaN5UX3Tuhbih1). Please let Zawiah know what you think of the drawing and don't post it elsewhere without her permission.


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